


Ich hätte dich gerne an meiner Seite

by Knightowl019



Series: AnemoiaVerse [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:20:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24629932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightowl019/pseuds/Knightowl019
Summary: (I'd like to have you by my side)Gilbert Beilschmidt had made peace with it. He finally moved on. Back to his regular life, as a single guy. Unfortunately, he never expected to see HIM again. Especially on that evening, when Gilbert was out drinking with his friends.But there he was, Roderich Edelstein, walking into the pub, looking pompous as ever.Gilbert had made peace with it… or so he thought to himself.
Relationships: Austria/Prussia (Hetalia), Prussia/Female Russia (Hetalia)
Series: AnemoiaVerse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789918
Comments: 23
Kudos: 19





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty then. So from Prologue to Chapter 3 are actually edited version. Had to update it since made many mistakes.  
> Shout out to chunni , who beta read the prologue and Chapter 1! And to VAspera, who beta read everything. Thank you so much, you guys!

How long had it been since Gilbert sat over the edge of the bed? Seconds? Minutes? Whatever it was, it felt like forever. The silence between them was unbearable. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Was it possible that it might burst out of his chest? 

Gilbert took a deep breath and sighed, running fingers through his sweaty platinum hair. He glanced over his shoulder, to see that Roderich didn’t face him as he asked Gilbert that question. Gilbert could only see Roderich’s back facing him. Gilbert had no clue on what he should do next. He never expected this to happen. Especially not with Roderich. It was not like it meant something. Or did it? 

Don't read into it. Gilbert fought with himself. This was just closure.

“Gilbert?” Roderich whispered. His voice was uneasy and so unsure. 

Gilbert cursed mentally to himself. How had it come to this? Why had he foolishly let his guard down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know. This chapter was too short. What do you expect? It's a prologue. Don't worry. The next chapter when will definitely be longer.  
> So stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty then. So from Prologue to Chapter 3 are actually edited version. Had to update it since made many mistakes.  
> Shout out to chunni , who beta read the prologue and Chapter 1! And to VAspera, who beta read everything. Thank you so much, you guys!

**The evening before**

“And I tell ya! Lutz is clearly in love with Feliiii! But he's just embarrassed about his feelings.” Gilbert kept rambling on, all the while drinking with his best friends at the pub. They were sitting at a booth near the window on the left side of it. 

Antonio smiled as he shook his head while Francis gave one of his famous, yet strange laughter. 

“Really? What gave it away?” Francis chortled. 

Gilbert chugged down his beer before he answered Francis’ question. “Come on! How is that not obvious?!” Gilbert flailed his arms around as he gossiped about his younger brother’s lovelife. 

His actions made Antonio and Francis laugh like uncontrollable maniacs. 

Gilbert ignored their laughter and continued on. “Like… BRO! He should just confess! If not, then I'll just date Feli myself!” 

After Antonio managed to get his laughter under control, he sighed and shook his head. “Gilbert. I think that’s enough drinking for tonight, no?” He suggested, as he slowly took Gilbert’s mug of beer away from him. 

Gilbert only laughed. He was glad he had gone out with his two best friends. Nothing could possibly ruin this awesome time. Not after…  
No. He shouldn't think about it right now. 

Gilbert’s laughter immediately died down as he saw a particular person walking into the pub. It was none other than Roderich Edelstein. His velvet eyes were glued onto Roderich’s every move. What was this douche doing here? 

It had been six years since he had last seen Roderich. Six. Fucking. Years. And now. He was right there. Standing near the door, looking like a lost puppy. Gilbert snorted. He knew it wasn’t Roderich’s scenery to drink at a place like this. 

“Ohonhon Gilbert.” Francis grinned. “Are you staring at- wait a minute. Is that Edelstein?” Francis asked, looking in the same direction Gilbert was staring. 

“What? Where?” Antonio asked. All three of them staring at Roderich Edelstein. 

Gilbert ignored his friends' fascination, he couldn’t take his eyes off Roderich. He was… he was just so… pathetic as always. Yes. That’s what it was. Nothing else. 

Roderich turned to face him. His eyes widened when they met Gilbert’s briefly.

Gilbert gasped silently. Those amethyst eyes… They were just as beautiful as he remembered them. What? Why was Gilbert thinking about something like that?

He immediately looked away. Why did….. No. He should not think about it. Not about him. Or else things might get complicated for himself again. 

“Hey Edelstein! Come have a drink with us!” Antonio shouted, waving him over. 

Gilbert cursed silently. He violently turned his head to look at Antonio, making a dismissive gesture. Gilbert did not want Roderich around. He wanted his friends to get the message. Of course, they were as dense as ever when they were out drinking. 

But why was this bothering him so much anyway? There was nothing between him and Edelstein. Not anymore… 

Roderich’s eyes wandered and finally found Antonio. He hesitantly crossed the pub and stopped in front of the trio. He gave a small smile while greeting them.   
Gilbert rolled his eyes. He knew that smile was fake. He knew how Roderich's real smile looked like and it wasn’t anything close to that. 

“It’s nice to see you here, Antonio, Francis and…” He paused before saying his name, “Gilbert.”

Gilbert’s heart leapt as Roderich spoke his name out loud. The way he said it was special, it gave a whole different meaning. And that look. What was up with that?   
Before Gilbert could realize what it was, he snapped out of it. It was probably nothing, just his imagination. God, this was awkward. 

Francis chuckled, “Oui, oui. It’s good to see you as well. So tell me, my dear Roderich, why are you here?” 

“Oh. Well, I’m supposed to meet Elizaveta here. But I guess she’s running late.” Roderich sighed. 

Of course. Why else would he be here? Of course, it was because of Elizaveta. 

“Well, yeah. It’s Eliza, what did you expect?” Gilbert said, grinning at Roderich. 

Antonio spoke up before anything else could happen. “You could sit with us, while you wait for her, no?” 

Roderich eyed the empty space next to Gilbert. He huffed before reluctantly sitting next to Gilbert. “I can’t see why not.”

Was he serious? Gilbert couldn’t believe this guy! And his friends?! How could they do this?   
The tension in the air was unmissable. It was unbearable now that Roderich was around. This was not awesome. This was just supposed to be a relaxing evening with his friends. But instead-

“While you’re here, you should drink with us for a bit.” Francis said, winking at Roderich. He asked the waitress for more drinks before Roderich got to reply. 

“Thank you but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Roderich said. 

Gilbert snorted. He looked at Roderich. “Why’s that, kleiner Prinz? Is this place not to your liking?” He asked mockingly. 

Check.

Roderich looked away from him as if he was ashamed. “No. It’s not that.” He took a deep breath and glared back at Gilbert, fiery purple eyes met with a pair of velvet. “I don't think it would be appropriate. I’m meeting Eliza after all.”  


Gilbert pursed his lips and chuckled, then drinking his beer. He should probably keep quiet for now. 

Antonio and Francis looked at each other in confusion. They knew something was up. Before one of them could speak up, though, the waitress placed their drinks on the table, while Francis flirted with her shamelessly. 

Antonio shook his head. “So Roderich, how have you been?” 

“Alright, I suppose but everything has been stressful lately.” 

Pff. Yeah. Right. 

“Yeah, I hear you.” Antonio nodded in agreement. 

“So what brings you back here? In this little town?” Francis asked, his lips curved into a mischievous smile. 

Gilbert knew that smile. He was planning on something. What the hell was this Frenchman up to? 

Roderich sneaked a glance at Gilbert before looking back at Francis. He fidgeted his hands. “I recently moved here.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty then. So from Prologue to Chapter 3 are actually edited version. Had to update it since made many mistakes.  
> Shout out to chunni , who beta read the prologue and Chapter 1! And to VAspera, who beta read everything. Thank you so much, you guys!

Gilbert shifted in his seat. Did he hear it correctly? He what? He could hear his heart pounding louder. Why did he come back? Gilbert wanted to know the reason. Deep down he hoped it was because of- No that definitely was not the reason why he’d move back! It was probably something else. 

“Oh. Is that so? Trés bien! It’s good that you’re back.” Francis said. “But why come back here when you had Vienna?” he added innocently. 

Roderich flinched. He looked down to his hands. 

“Ah. Je suis desolé. I’m being rude. No need to answer that. Anyways...” 

The night went on with Francis and Antonio filling Roderich in with all the details that had been happening in town. Roderich would listen and would talk about his life back in Vienna. All the places he went, the concert halls, extravagant parties and all the other things. 

Gilbert didn’t care about that. He was bothered with the fact why Roderich was still there, ruining his night. He wished Elizaveta could pick Roderich up already. Where was she anyways? 

“-bert. Hey, Gil.” Antonio tried to get Gilbert’s attention. 

Gilbert blinked, how long was he staring at the window? He turned to his friends and Roderich, who were all looking at him. 

“What?” He hissed. 

“Francis and I should probably head out. Call it a night.” Antonio said, nudging Francis. 

Gilbert noticed that Francis was drunk off his ass, head on the table and laughing uncontrollably. Yep. He was a goner.

This sucked. He was going to be alone… with Roderich. Could things get any worse than this? 

Gilbert crossed his arms and leaned further onto his seat. “Yeah. Whatever. Just don’t have any more fun without me. Kay?” Gilbert said, not trying to sound concerned for his friends. 

Antonio laughed. “We’ll try. See you soon! Both of you! Buenas noches.” He then slung Francis’ arm over his shoulder and began to drag him out. 

After Antonio and left, Gilbert and Roderich stayed at the bar. Roderich changed seats. Unfortunately, he was now sitting in front of Gilbert. 

Great. 

There was awkward silence between them and Gilbert hated that. He had to think of something. Or he could just leave. 

Another thought popped into his head. Maybe there was a chance for him to-

No! Now that thought was ridiculous! 

A headache began blossoming as a punishment from all the drinking . Gilbert sighed. 

“So...How are you, Gilbert?” Roderich said, breaking the silence. 

This was the first time in years that Roderich talked to him since Roderich left. And it felt uneasy. Thinking about it, he wasn’t part of the conversation with Antonio and Francis earlier. It wasn’t like Roderich was concerned about him, or was he? 

Gilbert huffed, still staring at the colored-glass window. “Fine. Not fancy, fine like you. So how was Vienna?” He asked. 

Gilbert turned to face the young Austrian and locked eyes with him.

Roderich’s brows furrowed. “So you weren’t listening earlier then?” He asked unamused. 

Gilbert shook his head. “Why the hell do I want to know how you’ve been living your life? Seriously, I don't care.” 

Gilbert’s eyes widened. He didn’t mean to say that. God. Not that. That just slipped out. Now it was really awkward. 

Gilbert noticed how Roderich flinched at his words. Roderich hung his head down, daring not to look at him. Roderich grabbed his mug of beer and drank silently. 

Gilbert hated himself for being an idiot. At times like these, he just never got control of himself or his words. 

“I didn’t know you felt that way. Gilbert.” Roderich spoke softly. 

Gilbert noticed Roderich’s eyes shimmer. Gilbert felt a stab in his heart. Did he just make Roderich cry? 

Gilbert was about to apologize when Roderich chuckled. 

Gilbert was confused. Was he alright? Was he trying to mock him?

Then Roderich looked at him with a dopey grin on his face. His cheeks were flushed. They were painted with a dark shade of pink. 

Relief washed over Gilbert as he realized that Roderich was just drunk. This was not good. Where the hell was Eliza anyway? It was getting late. 

“Uhh. Roddy. You okay there?” He asked. Panic started to rise. He didn't want to deal with a drunk Roderich. 

Roderich sighed and leaned onto his seat. “M'fine. It’s no… nothing.” He slurred. 

Gilbert gulped. “So uh when is Eliza coming here?” 

Roderich chuckled. “She…. cancelled.” 

For fuck’s sake Eliza! Gilbert cursed silently to himself. Great. What was he going to do now? He just couldn’t leave Roderich by himself, who knows what would happen to him? He would probably end up in a ditch if he left him alone now! He was a good looking guy, there were probably creeps lurking around. 

Gilbert shook that thought away. He didn't want to think about that. He hated the idea of what he had to do now. He had to drag Roderich back home. Wherever that was, that is. 

He cursed under his breath and stood up. He grabbed Roderich’s arm and led him outside the bar. 

“Wohin gehen wir?” Roderich asked. 

Now he was even starting to talk in German. Great! 

“Nach Hause.” Gilbert replied sharply. He just wanted this to be over with. 

“Nein. Ich will nicht!” Roderich tried to tug his arm off of Gilbert’s grasp but Gilbert was too strong for him. 

“Well tough luck!” Gilbert shouted.

They were stumbling down the sidewalk. Gilbert had no clue where he was going but he didn’t want to stay in the pub or else Roderich could’ve caused a scene. Not that he was worried. He probably might be the one to get banned if that happened. 

“Gilbert.” Roderich called out. 

This somehow made him halt. Something in Roderich’s voice… It was low and intoxicating. Even now, Roderich was the only one who made him feel…

No! He was just making this up. 

Roderich moved closer to him. Roderich’s free hand held Gilbert’s arm. “Gil.” He called out again. 

A tingle ran down Gilbert’s spine. He suddenly felt out of breath. Roderich was touching his arm. It felt like his skin was on fire. “Just what are you doing?”

Roderich giggled and leaned closer to Gilbert. He moved his hand, reaching out to Gilbert's face, cupping his cheek. 

Gilbert felt conflicted. He didn’t know what to do. Should he tear away from Roderich’s touch or pull him even closer? 

“We shouldn’t.” Gilbert whispered. 

“I mmmissed you” Roderich breathed. 

This was bad. After all this time. After all the hate and suffering he held for this man, completely washed away in seconds and was replaced with desire and longing. 

Roderich leaned even further, their noses almost touching. Gilbert could smell the alcohol in Roderich’s breath. 

He instantly pulled Roderich at an arm's length away. What was he doing?! He shouldn't. 

He groaned annoyingly. It was infuriating that he was stuck with Roderich. This was probably the most difficult thing he had to deal with his entire life. This was worse than dealing with his amnesiac brother a few years ago! And that was some fucked up shit he had to go through! 

He heard Roderich whine. “Giiiiilbeeeert.” As Roderich clung onto his shirt. 

Gilbert rolled his eyes. “Come on now, kleiner Prinz. Which hellhole are you staying right now?”

“Küss miiiich!” Roderich shouted. 

Gilbert sighed. “Nein! Just tell me so you can go home and sleep.”

“Mh… don't wanna. I'd rather…. sleep…. with you.”

Gilbert widened his eyes. Roderich was completely out of his mind. He hoped that Roderich wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning. But what he said just now… 

“Then would you tell me where you live?” 

“I would… if you kissed me” Roderich said, his lips twitching slightly upwards. He leaned forward, evading Gilbert's personal space. 

Gilbert stumbled backwards and felt something solid behind him. A wall. Just his luck. 

Unbelievable. This was not what he signed up for this evening. Hell no! If he could just find a way to distract Roderich from whatever he was doing, he'd be fine. Hopefully. 

“Edelstein, I swear to- mmpfff” 

Roderich cut him off by lunging himself onto Gilbert, smashing his lips onto Gilbert's, pulling him in for a kiss.

Gilbert had little time to process what was happening. Instead of pushing him away, which was probably the best thing to do. He decided to hell with it and gave in, kissing him back with the same force Roderich kissed him, melting into the kiss. 

Gilbert missed this. He missed Roderich’s touch. The way he made him feel. This was messing him up. 

Gilbert almost believed the lie he had been telling himself for years. And boy, was he wrong. He wasn't over him. He never was. But was it alright to give in so easily? It was not supposed to be this easy. Maybe it was just the alcohol. Maybe-

Roderich sneaked his tongue between Gilbert's lips. Gilbert moaned. He felt Roderich’s hands wrapped behind his neck and pulled him even closer. 

Gilbert, on the other hand, sneaked his hand below Roderich’s waist and into his pants. He felt Roderich trembling to his touch. Roderich tore from the kiss to catch his breath. Gilbert smirked. He knew he still had tricks up his sleeves. He still knew what Roderich liked. He stroked him gently because he knew that was how Roderich preferred. 

Roderich rested his head on his shoulder and panted heavily in his ear. “Gil… Gilbert… more.”

Gilbert desperately hoped that no one would see them. They were basically out in the open. Luckily it was dark and that some street lamps weren't working.

Gilbert felt his pants were getting too tight, he wanted to continue this so badly. But he had to stop. This was probably a mistake. He had to get Roderich home. Then he had an idea, something that would make Roderich tell him willingly his address. 

He leaned into Roderich’s ear and whispered. “I think we should go to your place, ja?” 

“Gil…”

“Where is it, mein Prinz?” Gilbert asked as he continued to stroke Roderich. 

“It's… it's ah… Ah… At the.. plaza.”

Gilbert blinked. The plaza? Why was it...? Oh. That meant he was staying... Never mind. He could think about that later. 

“Hmm. Good boy, Roderich. Which street?” 

“I- I could… ah… show you… Mhh… when we… Get… There.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Gilbert hesitantly took his hand away out of Roderich’s pants. He heard Roderich whimper. “Gil…?” 

Gilbert bit his lip. This was getting out of hand. This was a mistake. He had to do something so that Roderich would follow him without any trouble. 

He leaned down and kissed Roderich once more. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before he would lose his senses again. He leaned his forehead onto Roderich’s and gazed into his eyes. “Let's go home. Okay?” 

“To… together?” 

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Soooo. This is actually still a part of the flashback that led to that scene in the prologue. Yep so the last part of will probably the next chapter or so. Then it can finally go back to the actual time. You know?  
> It's just so timey wimey time stuff... Haha. 
> 
> Here's the translation of what they're saying:
> 
> Trés bien - very good/wonderful  
> Je suis desolé - I'm sorry  
> Buenas nuoches - good night  
> Wohin gehen wir? - Where are we going?  
> Nach Hause - Home  
> Nein ich will nicht - No, I don't want to  
> Kleiner Prinz + mein Prinz - little prince + my prince  
> Küss mich - kiss me


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty then. So from Prologue to Chapter 3 are actually edited version. Had to update it since made many mistakes.  
> Shout out to chunni , who beta read the prologue and Chapter 1! And to VAspera, who beta read everything. Thank you so much, you guys!

Gilbert managed to get him and Roderich back to Roderich’s place. Which was at a five star hotel. Now that wasn't a surprise for Gilbert. 

Gilbert paid the taxi driver and went into the hotel with Roderich. At this point he was basically dragging him. 

Roderich kept mumbling stuff to himself. 

Gilbert almost had it with Roderich’s behaviour. He breathed in and out. He had to calm down. 

“Now, Roderich, please tell me where your room is.” Gilbert said, exhausted. 

This night was just too much for him. And it was all because of Roderich Edelstein. 

Roderich giggled, “Naughty Gilbert…. Are.. you planning something?” Roderich traced his hands lazily around Gilbert's right shoulder. 

It made Gilbert shiver. Gilbert rolled his eyes. He had no intention of sleeping with Roderich… Even though it was tempting… 

“Yes. Now tell me where your room is?” 

**.**

**.**

**.**

They finally reached his room. Gilbert unlocked the door and found it neat, tidy and definitely luxurious, as Gilbert would describe it. 

He laid Roderich onto the bed gently. Roderich somehow seemed to quiet down, which finally meant peace for Gilbert. 

“Finally. Now I can leave and go home and drink some goddamn beer.” He muttered to himself. 

Roderich groaned and shook his head. He quickly pulled Gilbert's arm. “Don't go… Please.” He begged. 

Gilbert swallowed. This was not good. He felt his heart racing faster. He didn't know what to do. 

“I have to go.”

Roderich pushed himself upwards with his elbow and leaned towards Gilbert. “You… don't have to.”

They gazed into each other's eyes. Velvet and amethyst eyes sparkled in the moonlight. Gilbert saw the fiery hunger in Roderich’s eyes. He knew what Roderich wanted. 

Gilbert bit his lip and stared into Roderich’s lips. Did he really want this? 

Well they did make out a while ago. So this was just nothing, right? Besides he could just blame it on the alcohol. It was only going to be one last kiss. A final kiss goodbye and be done with it. 

Slowly he moved closer to Roderich and closed the gap between them with a kiss. The kiss was slow and light. It was much different than their kiss from before. It was sweet and gentle. 

Gilbert missed this. He missed his touch. He missed his little remarks about everything. He missed listening to Roderich playing the piano for him. But most of all he missed Roderich. It was ironic, in the past years he tried to get over him and had thought it had worked. Oh, how wrong he was. 

He heard Roderich moaning into the kiss. This was difficult. It was supposedly one last kiss. He didn’t have the strength to resist him. So he didn’t. Instead he let his desire take over him. 

He kissed Roderich deeper, sliding his tongue in his mouth. He could feel how Roderich’s hands gripped onto Gilbert’s hair. 

After a while they broke apart to breathe. They both panted heavily. 

Gilbert stared at Roderich and immediately pinned him down on the king sized bed. 

He flashed Roderich a mischievous smirk. 

Roderich blinked and smiled at him sweetly. 

Gilbert’s hands wandered through Roderich’s chest. He began to unbutton his shirt. 

“I missed this.” Roderich said hoarsely, placing his right leg on Gilbert's waist. 

Gilbert hitched his breath. Roderich really did have a way with him. He just knew how to get his attention.

Roderich was such a mess. But Gilbert loved it. It made Roderich seem so alluring and beautiful to him. His hair all ruffled, his heavy breathing, looking all flustered. It was a sight Gilbert loved. No, it wasn’t the sight. It was Roderich. He still loved Roderich. Every part of him...

“Are you sure?” Gilbert paused, stroking Roderich’s cheek. 

“Please…” Roderich pleaded breathlessly. “I want you, Gil.” Roderich kissed his hand. 

If someone told him earlier today that he'd be having sex with Roderich in the evening, he would have punched that person. But now, Roderich was in front of him, waiting for Gilbert's next move. Gilbert licked his lips at the sight and slowly, leaned down on Roderich. 

**.**

**.**

**.**

**The following morning**

Gilbert slowly stirred awake. He turned around to the other side of the bed and realized that this was not his bed. It was fluffy. It was… too soft. 

He opened his eyes to see Roderich, sleeping peacefully beside him. Gilbert chuckled and examined him quietly. Roderich was covered in marks that Gilbert had left behind that night before… 

Then Gilbert felt a pang in his chest as he realized what actually happened. It hit him and he remembered last night's affairs. 

He noticed that he wasn’t wearing any clothes and neither was Roderich. And there were marks all over their bodies. Panic began to rise. What was he thinking? This was not supposed to happen! He was supposed to bring him home without any problems whatsoever, but instead, he had slept with Roderich. 

Then he remembered the words Roderich whispered to him. He wanted him. But… no that wasn’t it. It was just the alcohol talking. Nononono. He probably meant sex. Yeah. That was it. 

He had to get out. He had to sneak out, before Roderich woke up.

Was he that kind of a person? 

He shook off the guilt and decided to move silently. As he slowly sat up on the bed, he heard a loud groan beside him. 

Scheiße, Gilbert cursed internally. He immediately decided to look away from Roderich. He didn’t want to see Roderich’s face. It might probably hurt him. 

Roderich was awake. The bed creaked as Roderich moved around. 

“Morgen, kleiner Prinz.” Gilbert croaked. 

“Gil-Gilbert?! Did… did we…” Roderich stammered. He couldn’t finish that sentence since it was obvious. 

“Fuck.” He sighed, cursing out loud. 

This was just humiliating. 

. 

. 

. 

  
Gilbert swallowed hard and tried to find an answer to Roderich’s question. 

What the hell was he going to say? It was just alcohol? It could work but Gilbert needed a solid excuse. 

Why was he making an excuse? He could just tell that he was just lust and nothing more. That it was just…. 

Yes. That was it! 

“Look, Edelstein. I- I -… This was just a one time thing. Uh… closure as people would call it.” Gilbert said slowly. 

He was tremendous at making up lies and excuses but when it came to Roderich… It… was that he always saw through those lies. But maybe he’d believe him this time. Since Roderich was busy for the past six years without him. So how would he know the difference between his truths and lies. 

But why did he think about that? This was the truth, right? 

He heard Roderich chuckle bitterly, “Closure?” 

“Yeah. People do it when they want to get it on one last time with their ex. Because that was what it was.” 

“Was… it really? But what about-” 

Gilbert immediately cut him off harshly. “We both probably said things we didn’t mean.”

“Oh. I see.” 

Gilbert wondered what Roderich meant by that. 

Why did Roderich sound like he was disappointed? Was he expecting something? He thought he could just waltz right in back in his arms, like nothing happened?! No. No way! This was nothing. It meant nothing. 

But if that was true, if it was nothing, then why did it feel wrong?

Gilbert immediately shrugged off those feelings and started to stand up. 

“Look. I gotta go.” Gilbert muttered. What else could he say? Gilbert picked up the traces of clothes that were scattered through the room. 

Roderich sighed deeply, “Yeah. I think it’s for the best that you do.”

Gilbert immediately threw on his clothes from last night. He adjusted his jacket and made haste for the door. He slightly stopped before opening the handle. Was this… was this alright? He wanted to glance back at Roderich, to see how-

No. Don’t. Look back. Said the voice in his head. 

Gilbert balled his hand into a fist and opened again, he immediately grabbed the doorknob, opening the door. 

He was about to go when…

“Wir sehen uns bald, Edelstein.”

He was surprised by the words that escaped his lips. He didn’t want to say those words. Oh god. He could just explain-

No. No explaining. He was leaving and that was final! 

And that was what he did. He left Roderich alone in his apartment without saying another word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering what they're saying...  
> Here's the translation:
> 
> Scheiße - shit  
> Morgen - morning  
> Kleiner Prinz - little prince  
> Wir sehen uns bald - We'll see each other soon


	5. Chapter 5

Gilbert walked down the street, looking down on the ground with his hands shoved in his jeans pocket. He was still furious and also mad at himself. For what happened. That stupid Edelstein! If he ever-

“Ah, Gilbert. I knew it was you.” A gentle voice spoke, not too far away from him. 

Ah crap. He knew that voice. It may seem gentle but the owner of that voice was not. 

He looked up to see Anya, smiling and holding a flower pot with a sunflower inside. 

Great. Anya. Another disaster. He was going to regret walking past Anya’s flower shop. 

“Hey, Anya. How’s it going?” Gilbert asked, hoping that it wouldn’t be one of those long conversations with Anya. It used to be surprisingly pleasant talking to her, once upon a time. But now… Just not today. Just… He wanted to go home. 

Anya smiled even brighter, she placed the flowerpot down and patted her hands of dirt. “Oh. You know. Same old business.” She answered but then her expression changed, she frowned and leaned closer to Gilbert, examining him closely. “Hmm. Are you alright? Did something happen?” 

This invasion of his personal space caused Gilbert to stumble a few steps back. “Uh yeah. I’m fine, Anya. Why wouldn’t I be?” Gilbert tried to look as natural as possible. He wondered, how the hell did Anya know how he actually felt?

Anya shook her head and giggled. “You should know better than lie to me, Gilbert. I know you too well.” She said, a little proudly. 

Gilbert scoffed and rolled his eyes. Nothing could pass this woman! “Ugh fine! Yeah. Just had a shitty morning!” Gilbert’s voice rose. 

Anya kept on smiling as she tilted her head slightly. “Oh Gil. What happened?” she asked with such wickedness that was masked by innocence. 

Gilbert felt his anger rising. He wasn’t in the mood to be annoyed today. He already felt miserable. His hands were in his pockets, fisting into a ball. He had no time to play her little mind games. Not that he would ever let himself. 

He took a deep breath and sighed. “Anya.” Gilbert gritted his teeth, “Please. I am not in the mood to talk about it. So please. Just let it go.” He was practically glaring at her. 

It might not seem like it but Gilbert probably crossed a line with her. She still held her cheery expression and placed her hand on Gilbert’s shoulder and gripped tightly. “Listen, Gil. I was just asking how you were. Don’t need to get so defensive now, da?” Her words were cold as ice, almost sounding like a threat. 

Gilbert had never punched a girl in his life, except Eliza that one time but that was back then when he thought she was a boy. But this was... Couldn’t Anya just stop acting all psycho and let him through? 

“Anya… Bitte. I am asking you… politely.” 

Anya stared long into Gilbert’s eyes before she loosened her grip on him and released him completely. “I was just messing with you Gilbert.” She said with a sigh.

Gilbert knew that she was lying. Anya Braginski, back in high school, they called her the ice queen. She earned her by how cold she actually was toward people, back then she didn’t know how to smile. She would just glare at them and they’d leave her alone. 

Gilbert cursed at his past-self for befriending her back then, if it wasn’t for him, she probably wouldn’t be so obsessed with him, every now and then. He was a freshman, while she was a junior when he met her. He heard so many rumors about her and knew it couldn’t be true unless he saw the real deal. And that was his mistake. He let her into his life. It was his fault that Anya learned how to be more "kind". He didn’t know what consequences he’d face today, all because of Anya. 

Gilbert swallowed back the words he wanted to shout. Instead, all he said was, “Alright, Anya. See you around, matryoshka.” 

It caught Anya off-guard, the emotions in her eyes flickered, for a moment, before her usual smile crept back . “Do svidaniya, Gilbert~”

Gilbert scurried away and was back on track to reach home soon. Where he could just lay in his more comfortable bed. That was definitely more comfortable than Roderich’s… Argh. Why did he think of that? He was so close from keeping him out his thoughts. 

Thunder started to rumble. Gilbert didn’t mind but... Oh no. He gazed up above to see heavy dark clouds. 

It might rain soon. He thought to himself. Great. He didn’t have an umbrella. This was just not his day. 

He then flinched when he felt something vibrate in his pocket. Right, his phone. Who could it be? He took it out from his pocket and read the caller ID. 

Ludwig.

He immediately answered.

Poor Lutz, he was probably worried sick, he thought to himself.

“Brüderchen. Hallo. Wie geht’s, wie stehts?” He asked awkwardly. 

Gilbert could feel the disappointment from Ludwig coming through the phone. “Ernsthaft? Nicht mal ein ‘tut mir leid Bruder, sorry that I made you worry’.”

Gilbert gulped, his brother was pissed. This wasn’t good. If Ludwig was stressed out then it would be his fault. And maybe, he’d have to go to the hospital. No. He had to be the bigger man here and act mature for Ludwig. “Ja. Tut mir leid Bruder, dass ich dir großen Sorgen gemacht habe.”

Ludwig sighed through the phone. “Am I expecting you at lunch? Dinner? Or maybe even breakfast tomorrow?” 

As if on cue, his stomach grumbled loudly. He laughed. “Definitely lunch. I’ll be there shortly. Liebe dich, Lutzy.” 

Even now, he still found it amusing to dote on and tease his little brother. It was one of the things he’d never be too old for. And Ludwig’s reaction was always the best. Even before the accident. 

“Jaja. Liebe dich auch.” Ludwig uttered and hung up. 

Sudden relief washed over Gilbert for some reason. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and kept on walking.

On the rest of the way home, all he thought was what Ludwig would cook. He even hoped that cute Feliciano would be there. 

And the thought Roderich was shoved somewhere in the back of his mind. He’d already started to forget. So he’d just be a thought, every now and then. Or was he? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering what they're saying...  
> Here's the translation:
> 
> Bitte - please  
> Do svidaniya - goodbye  
> Brüderchen - Little brother  
> Hallo - Hello  
> Wie geht’s, wie stehts? - How are you?  
> Ernsthaft? - Seriously  
> Nicht mal ein ‘tut mir leid Bruder' - Not even a 'I'm sorry, brother'  
> dass ich dir großen Sorgen gemacht habe - that I made you worry


	6. Chapter 6

Not long after Gilbert walked out of his apartment, Roderich immediately decided to take a shower.   
As the warm water touched his skin, he relaxed for a moment until troubling thoughts began to run through his head.   
What was he thinking? Why did he have to drink last night? Why was it that Gilbert had to be there? In that pub?   
He expected a quiet evening with Elizaveta but no, she had to cancel at the last minute. 

He sighed. He remembered how his bright red eyes glared at him. How Gilbert was… and the way he…   
He shuddered at the thought. 

After a short while, he heard someone ringing the doorbell. He stopped in his tracks. He didn’t dare to breathe for a second. He hoped Gilbert wasn’t on the other side of that door. He slowly got out of the shower and slipped into a bathrobe.

As he got to the door, he heard Elizaveta shouting. “Hey. Roderich! Are you there?” 

He sighed in relief, but why did he feel a slight tug in his chest?

He unlocked the door and saw Elizaveta, holding a basket in her hand. “Ah. There you are. I brought breakfast!” 

The corners of Roderich’s mouth twitched slightly upwards. He was glad that Elizaveta was here. Or else he’d be stuck within his thoughts all day. 

“Elizaveta. Good to see you. Come in.” He greeted. 

Elizaveta stepped in his apartment and grabbed Roderich into a crushing hug. “I’m so sorry for bailing last night! I had a few errands to run, thanks to my good-for-nothing coworkers.” 

Roderich patted her back and chuckled slightly. “It’s alright. I managed on my own.” Barely, he added bitterly to himself. 

When Elizaveta let go, she blinked a couple of times as she stared at Roderich. Her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes fixated onto Roderich. She bit her lip and tapped her index finger onto her mouth. She was thinking, quite loudly in fact. 

“What is it?” Roderich asked. 

Elizaveta grinned widely, “Mr. Edelstein.” 

Uh oh. That wasn’t good when she called him that. 

“Did you make out with someone last night?” 

Oh no. She knew. This was bad.   
“I- uh. How did you know?” Roderich asked in a panicked voice. He wasn’t going to try and cover it up. If there was someone he could fully trust, it was Elizaveta. 

“You have quite the hickies there, Rod.” She pointed out. 

Roderich’s eyes widened. He unconsciously placed his hands on his neck. Oh no. How did he not notice it? Right, he didn’t look in the mirror. Dammit. Of course Gilbert would leave marks on him. 

“Man. You just moved back in town and suddenly you already got a man’s tongue down your throat.” She continued, walking around the room as if she owned the place, placing the basket on the desk near Roderich’s bed. “Ha. Gilbert probably would be-” She immediately clamped her mouth with her hand. 

Roderich flinched at the mention of Gilbert’s name. What did she mean by that?

“What?” he asked softly. He didn't want to seem eager, even though it had piqued his curiosity with the mention of Gilbert's name. 

Elizaveta coughed. “I mean, since you two split up. I- ugh. Sorry.” 

Roderich sighed and shook his head, “No it's alright. I guess he's someone I can't seem to avoid.” 

The look on Elizaveta's face was priceless. “What?!” 

She held up a finger and pointed towards Roderich. “So… You and Gilbert… hooked up?” She stuttered. 

Roderich covered his face with his hands and groaned, “It just... happened.”

Elizaveta's face softened. She took his hands and squeezed them, “Rod. Are you alright?” She asked quietly. 

“Honestly, Eliza…” his voice quivered, “I don't know. I just… I thought things might be different now between us.”

Elizaveta clicked her tongue and gave Roderich another crushing hug, “Oh Roddy. You dummy.”

**.**   
**.**   
**.**

  
Elizaveta and Roderich both sat down at the desk and ate the food Elizaveta had brought. 

“So let me clarify that, you're now an owner of a boutique shop?” Roderich asked. 

Elizaveta took a bite from her croissant before she answered Roderich, “Yes. Now why is that so hard to believe?!” 

Roderich chuckled, resting his head on his hands, “No, not really. You used to make the best costumes back in high school. I still cannot believe that you made me join the theatre club with you.”

Elizaveta smiled, “Haha. But you must admit, you didn't regret joining the club.” 

Roderich huffed, “Well, you didn't really give me much of a choice back then.”

Elizaveta raised a brow. “Weren't you the one who asked me if there was another club you could join besides the music club?” 

“Well I didn't think that you'd drag me there!” 

Elizaveta snorted, “But still, we had a great time.”

“I suppose so.”

Elizaveta sighed deeply, “And now we're adults. We wake up, we eat, we work and we sleep. The same cycle. Until the day we give our last breath.”

Roderich wasn't sure what Elizaveta was talking about all of the sudden. It made him wonder. But all he could say in that moment was, “Well, not necessarily.”

“Not everyone has a fortune like you, sweetie.”

“Yeah.”

Elizaveta seemed startled, immediately regretting the words she had said. “No, Rod. That's not what I meant.”

Roderich placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled. “I know.”

It was no secret that he had a fortune, so the words had never bothered Roderich. He had gotten used to it, since it was true. 

Elizaveta took another bite, finishing her croissant completely. She looked outside the window, where they had the view of the town plaza. 

“You know. You never told me the reason why you're back.” She said, her eyes gazing at the distance, changing the subject. 

Roderich sighed, “It’s complicated, Eliza. I don’t want to bore you with the details.” 

He hoped Elizaveta understood the meaning behind his words. He wasn’t ready to tell his reasons, since he himself didn’t even know why he left Vienna.

He noticed how Elizaveta didn’t take her eyes off the glass but her eyes sparkled for a moment, before returning to her plain expression. She rested her chin on her hand and sighed deeply.

“Alright. So what else should we talk about?” Elizaveta asked.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I was going to post another chapter this week but here we are!

**Thirteen years ago…**

  
“Hey! You heard the news about the new kid?” 

“Yeah. I heard he’s from Europe!” 

“No way! Where?” 

“Australia.” 

“You mean Austria!” 

“Maybe that’s why he keeps to himself. He doesn’t speak English.” 

“That doesn’t make sense.” 

“You don’t make sense!”

“Hey Schmidt! You should talk to him.” 

“Already ahead of you!” Gilbert shouted as he began to saunter down the hall, getting away from his obnoxious classmates. 

He was curious about the new student who had recently transferred in the middle of the school year. It got everyone to gossip around school. At this point, the new kid already gained much popularity in a span of one week and he was just a sophomore!   
It took Gilbert more time than that to become popular at school. It took almost two years! The thought of it pestered him. It basically took him a lot for people to finally notice how "awesome" he was.   
Anyhow, there was one thing that plagued his mind. Everyone in school talked about the new kid, but no one tried to talk to him for some reason. And Gilbert was going to find out why that is. Luckily, he already had an idea where the new kid could be. 

Gilbert found him sitting alone at the library, reading a book. He sat near the window with the sun shining down on him. He had brown hair like the color of a hazelnut, his eyes were sealed behind rectangular shaped glasses and his outfit… almost made Gilbert snicker. It was too formal and too elegant to wear for school. He really wondered why no one approached him. He must admit, the new kid seemed stunning. Like a prince in a fairy-tale. Gilbert was certain that any girl would go for him. Wait, why was he thinking that? 

Gilbert was grateful for how empty the library was at this hour. It was just him and the new kid (and possibly the librarian if she was ever around that is). Gilbert pulled up a chair and sat next to him. 

The new kid didn’t spare a glance away from his book. He kept reading instead, completely ignoring Gilbert’s presence. 

“Hallo, kleiner Prinz.” He chimed, smiling mischievously at the young Austrian. 

This time, he got a reaction and it was priceless. He saw the kid’s eyes widen as he turned to face Gilbert. The new kid’s face heated up, visible to a slight blush on his cheeks. He put his book down on the table as he looked at Gilbert.

Instead of laughing at the flustered reaction, Gilbert's breath stopped for a moment. He was fixated on those purple eyes. His eyes…were beautiful. A color that was just as unique as this. Gilbert was fascinated by the young Austrian, almost losing himself in his amethyst eyes. 

“Komm schon. Ich versuche nur nett zu sein.” He grinned. 

The new kid glared, “Oh really? It seems to me you're trying to make a fool out of yourself.” He spat out with a thick accent.

Gilbert didn’t expect this sort of attitude from him, he thought he was just shy. Instead he seemed to act like some pompous aristocrat. It still made things somewhat entertaining for Gilbert, but he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad..

Gilbert laughed, “Me? A fool? Come on, don't be like that.” Gilbert shook his head and stretched out his hand to the new kid. “Why don't I try again? Hmm? I'm Gilbert. And you are..?” 

The new kid examined him up and down and clicked his tongue, “Nicht interessiert.” He stood up and walked away from Gilbert. 

Gilbert was taken aback. This was the first time he ever got rejected. After all, he was very popular and most importantly, awesome. So no one ever rejected him or dared to reject him. Gilbert didn’t let it into his head, he can accept the fact of getting rejected. No biggie, right?

Except that he couldn’t.

Gilbert chuckled as he watched the Austrian go.   
The new kid even walked so elegantly like some peacock showing off his feathers or something, he thought to himself.

Why did he care if he looked elegant or not? This was stupid. 

Gilbert smirked to himself as a brilliant idea had appeared in his mind. 

“Fine. Challenge accepted.”

~

“-uder. Wake up!” 

Gilbert opened his eyes, raised his head and saw Ludwig crossing his arms on his chest and seemed as if he was about to shout. 

“Was denn? Let me sleep.” Gilbert murmured, placing his head down on the table once more. 

He heard Ludwig sigh, “Then don’t sleep here in the kitchen. You have your room for that.” Ludwig lectured.

“It’s not my fault that I had a nice dream.” Gilbert spoke in his defense. 

“Ja, I heard.” Ludwig muttered under his breath.

Gilbert laughed and slowly drifted back to sleep but was unable to do so, as he remembered the dream he had. He realized it wasn’t a dream, instead it was more like a memory that occurred thirteen years ago.   
He groaned loudly at the thought. He was annoyed by the thoughts that plagued in his mind. It was constantly all about Roderich. Why couldn't he take a break? It hadn't even been a day. 

“What is it now?” Ludwig asked with his patience wearing thin.

“Nothing.” Gilbert shrugged. He then sat straight and smiled innocently as possible at his brother. 

Ludwig lifted a brow, he seemed as if he wasn't content with Gilbert's answer but he didn't question him further. Instead, he shoved a plate in front of Gilbert, insisting him to eat. 

Gilbert laughed wholeheartedly, “Danke Brüderchen~” 

Ludwig muttered something under his breath as he grabbed another plate for himself and sat down with Gilbert. 

While they were eating, Gilbert tried to get Ludwig into a conversation with him. 

“So,” Gilbert began, “How's Feli?” 

Ludwig looked at his brother strangely, “What do you mean?” 

Gilbert then remembered that he saw Feliciano yesterday, as he was picking up Antonio at his place. He silently cursed to himself for his forgetting things so easily. Although he blamed it on Roderich, if it wasn't for Roderich, then he didn't have to force this conversation. 

But thankfully, he had grown up to be an excellent liar, so it was often easy to find an answer. 

“Well, you spend almost all your time with him, so I was just asking.” He said nonchalantly, adding, “So, is he seeing someone yet?” His eyebrows wriggled. 

Ludwig coughed, probably choking on his food. 

Gilbert couldn't but laugh at his brother for a while, before patting his back. 

“War nur ein Scherz.” Gilbert said. 

Gilbert noticed a tint of blush on Ludwig’s cheeks. He was amused by his brother's crush on Feliciano. He knew there was something going on between those two. Ever since they were kids, Ludwig would non-stop talk about Feliciano; ‘Feli this’ ‘Feli that’ ‘does he like me back’and so on. Admittedly, it was cute but Gilbert grew tired of his little brother’s adoration for Feliciano, and began to tease him whenever he got the chance. And that went on until now. Gilbert wasn’t planning on stopping though, it was one of his favorite amusements in life. He hoped that Ludwig would finally gain some confidence and confess his feelings for the Italian.   
Those two were made for each other, Gilbert thought.

“Why would you ask something like that?” Ludwig asked, with a disbelieved look on his face. 

Gilbert's lips curved into a smirk, “Maybe I wanna take him out some time. He is an attractive man after all.” Gilbert teased. 

The reaction he got from Ludwig was hilarious, he wasn't sure if he should laugh or be frightened at his brother’s behavior.   
Ludwig gripped tightly onto the knife, glaring daggers at Gilbert, from the looks of it. 

“Bruder,” Ludwig warned, “Don't even think about it. If you dare-” 

Gilbert held up his arms in the air, as if he was surrendering, “Whoa. Whoa. I’m just teasing you.” he said in defense, “Although, Feli is really cute.” He mentioned quietly, but enough so for Ludwig to hear. 

Ludwig snarled. 

“But I'm not gonna pursue him, okay?” Gilbert made it clear for Ludwig. 

Since I already did try to ask him out once, Gilbert added to himself.

Ludwig calmed down and continued to eat in silence. 

Gilbert sighed. His brother, always the hothead. Even though he had been teasing about Feliciano for almost all his life, Ludwig always had that same reaction on his face. Gilbert laughed silently at the thought of it. 

“How was your night, Bruder?” Ludwig asked. 

Gilbert was brought back to reality by that question. He felt a lump in his throat. 

How was last night? Fucking awful. 

“Eh. Wie immer. Same old, same old.” 

Gilbert refrained himself from speaking any further about last night. He didn't want to think about Roderich; how he quivered underneath him, gripped tightly onto his shoulders, moaning his name and- 

He shook his head and slapped his face lightly with both of his hands. What the hell was he thinking?! 

“Bruder, ist alles in Ordnung mit dir?”

Gilbert almost forgot where he was. He looked at Ludwig and smiled nervously, “Ja, I just remembered something.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering what they're saying...  
> Here's the translation: 
> 
> Hallo - hello  
> kleiner Prinz - little prince  
> Komm schon - Come on  
> Ich versuche nur nett zu sein - I'm just trying to be nice  
> Nicht interessiert - not interested  
> Danke Brüderchen - Thanks little brother  
> War nur ein Scherz - It's just a joke  
> Wie immer - like always  
> Ist alles in Ordnung mit dir? - Are you alright?


End file.
